Friday, December 09, 2011
THOUGHTS ABOUT HOLIDAYS
Ethan and I have been really starting to think about whether we should raise Forest with religion. This has become pretty challenging for me to think about because I'm not religious and Ethan isn't either. I wasn't brought up with it, other than just celebrating holidays. According to Jewish law, I'm considered Jewish since my mother is. My dad on the other hand is Italian Catholic. So I always felt I was half and half since really that's what makes sense. But, again it was just that we celebrated Christmas and also lit a menorah for Hanukkah. Did I know what these holidays stood for? No. Do I now? Kinda, sorta.
Now we're faced with whether we should blindly continue to do this or actually start to educate ourselves and therefore Forest about the meaning behind these holidays. I'm a bit in a bind. For one, I think as an American, Christmas is a huge part of our culture. This is even without the religious parts. It's everywhere—the lights, the music, decorations, trees, presents, etc. I really liked Christmas as a kid. I loved the magic of it. I would always wake up during the night to scope out the gifts from Santa with the tree lights twinkling and everyone sleeping and felt so happy. It was my favorite holiday as I'm sure it is for most kids.
But I do consider myself Agnostic. So when it comes to believing what Christmas stands for, I'm not sure I actually believe in that. I feel pretty phony introducing this holiday to my child with this thought about it. However, I'm also not sure if I want to take a holiday away from him that most people celebrate. Also, a holiday which I have a bunch of fond memories around.
What do you do? This is a tough one. Ethan is leaning towards getting into Judaism as a family. He thinks it'll give Forest a nice sense of community to be part of something that neither of us had. I see his point but I'm really not ready to commit.
Until then, Forest will celebrate his first Christmas this year since it's what our families celebrate and I just need to document his first one ;)...maybe I'll even sneak in some potato pancakes!
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6 comments:
I was raised Quaker, and my parents were never much for the god-talk. We celebrated a sort of secular Christmas: Santa, stockings, the tree, the lights, all of that. It's a really nice tradition to have. And though it would be weird to celebrate Christmas if you were Jewish, it sounds like you don't really identify yourselves as such. I know several Christian/Jewish couples and they either celebrate both Hannukkah and Christmas (and visit the matching in-laws for each holiday) or they just do Christmas because everyone does it and it's fun. Note that celebrating Christmas this year doesn't mean that you can't decide to start going to temple! I think this is something you guys are going to have to decide for yourselves, though.
Thanks for the comment Debbie! I'm intrigued by the Quakers! We've talked about looking more into this too. I also like the idea of a secular Christmas, pretty much what I've always had. But I guess, I'm trying to prepare myself for that day when Forest asks about God and why we do or don't celebrate Christmas. I do have time to think about it though ;)
Though my mom is now a Unitarian Universalist minister, we were raised without much talk of religion or anything until I was about 12. We had Christmas, we had a little manger, but I don't remember getting much into the idea that there was a belief system around the holiday. My great spiritual identity search didn't happen until Catholic high school.
I don't know what to do with Theo. I became very disillusioned with the UU church a few years ago and only go to see my mom preach once in a great while. But I sort of like the idea of letting Theo know what people believe and that he can figure out what he believes. UU Sunday School can be fun and good for kids. But I'm not sure I'm up for the church experience.
Kelsey, I also really like "the idea of letting (forest) know what people believe and then he can figure out what he believes." I read this article in the paper recently which brought up the question about what to say when your child asks you who God is. I thought one of the answers was really great and was just something simple like, well who is God to you?
marisa-
i'm so glad you wrote about this! i've been thinking similar thoughts...having thommy around, as well as aurora, has inspired me to make more traditions for our family, which made me think about why i'm generally not into holiday traditions to begin with. i realized that part of it is that i'm not christian and embracing a secular xmas hasn't really been attractive to me before. but i think i can find a way to do it, that's not super commercial either, but fits me and my family.
i also know there's no way i would not want to do christmas--i wouldn't want to leave thommy out of that!
i hope that even though we are not religious thommy will grow to find a spirituality that suits him.
Keep Christmas (and Santa) in Forest's early life (at least). It is still the major cultural event in the American experience. He will feel left out if you don't. When he grows up he can decide for himself.
Hey Marisa, do you remember the electric trains I would set up under and around the Christmas tree? Those were the days!
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